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Summary: Davesprite and Karkat decide to try and unwind for once with alcohol. The results are as mixed as the drinks.

Characters: Davesprite, Karkat
Ships: Davesprite<3Karkat

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Additional Tags (Optional): Underaged drinking, Alcohol

Karkat walked back and forth before the rows of movies beside the TV in his and Davesprite’s apartment. Sburb had ended and the universe was safe and everyone was rebuilding their lives. The two had moved in together after becoming closer during the end of the game.

“You can’t seriously expect me to want to watch one of your sappy cry flicks.” Davesprite watched the troll as he moved about the shelves. He was eighteen now and pretty pleased he’s aged up. Eternally thirteen only sounded good on paper.

"Maybe some of the obvious parallels between the moderately decent side-plot and our ‘thing’ will manage to hold your heinously short attention span for more than a minute and half." Karkat moved back from the shelf, tilting the movie so Davesprite could see the cover.

"This looks terrible. Anything with Sarah Jessica Parker in it is terrible. Can we at least watch something that gets a rating above a 2 from desperate housewives on the World Wide Web? I'd like to be spared a night of comparisons between you and Matthew McConaughey, thanks."

"I rated Failure to Launch a 6." Karkat growled. "And I'm obviously not McConaughey, idiot. I'm the unfortunate, level-headed Kit, played by the underrated and extraordinarily talented Zooey Deschannel," He flipped the case, jabbing at a small square containing the pissed-off face of a girl with long dark hair, "and you're the infernal squawk beast that grates on her every nerve until she shoots it, before showing random interest in its prolonged life by unrealistically giving the horrid thing CPR. Except instead of mouth-to-mouthing you until you see sense, I'm spoon feeding you romantic advice and shooting you with the obvious knowledge that Cosmopolitan is not a valid source of information, you sordid sack of hoofbeast shit."

"Isn't that Katy Perry?" Davesprite cocked his head to the side as he looked at the cover a bit more.

“No that isn’t fucking Katy Perry, it is Zooey Deshchannel. Get the feathers out of your ears and listen to what I say.” Karkat flashes his fangs for a moment before managing to get his rage under control again.

“I might be willing to watch that movie for ironic purposes, but I’d rather watch something that didn’t lower my IQ if at all avoidable.”

“Go drown yourself in a pool full of severed bulges. What would you rather watch all knowing bird guru of things cinematic? If you are such an expert you pick something.” Karkat crossed his arms and stared at him.

“Nah you have another go at it sweetie pie, pick out one of your troll flicks.” He lounged on the couch and continued to watch his boyfriend move about the shelves.

Karkat held up one title after another for the other male on the couch and Davesprite rolled his eyes or had a remark for each one. The troll eventually sat on the couch in frustration and watched the sprite head for the movies.

Davesprite looked around and complained, “Man you really don’t have anything good here, do you? What’s the point of having so many movies if you don’t even have a single one worth watching I mean really.”

“Well if you don’t like the selection keep it to yourself! I didn’t ask for a goddamn judge to decide whether or not my clearly amazing movies are good or not.”

“Whatever you say, honeybuns.” Davesprite returned to the couch after an unsuccessful venture through the land that was Karkat’s mess of DVDs and relaxed, putting his arms under his head and looking at Karkat. “You know this isn’t turning out like I thought it would. You’re so fucking decisive when it comes to what I suggest but then you bullshit and want to tease me with your own and quit after one try.”

"Well, you're not exactly the Norwegian model I thought I'd be dating, either. Maybe if your hair was a little longer." Davesprite teased and ran a hand through the troll’s messy hair, playing with the bits that were sticking up at odd angles and enjoying how it was course yet light and fluffy. “You know I think I know something that might help you loosen up and relax babe.”

Karkat crossed his arms and continued to stare at the blank screen.

"Nah, it's cool, not like it was important anyway. Go ahead and ignore me." Davesprite brushed his orange fingers across Karkat's cheek, over his temples, passing a thumb across the bruises insomnia had beaten into his eyes. He shifted a little, curling his tail around the other boy and rested his chin in Karkat's wild hair. He knew Karkat couldn’t resist this.

“Alright, alright what’s this fucking bright idea of yours?” Karkat touched his hand and the sprite smirked a bit before heading for the kitchen and pulling a pitcher out of the fridge and a bottle from a top cabinet. The troll recognized it as rum from the label. The alcohol had been there a while, a relic of the Strider apartment preSburb.

“You need to chill and let loose for once Karkat.” Davesprite added two times the rum recipe called for and stirred the pitcher of lemonade vigorously. There were two of them so that’s how this works right? Either he was doing it right or they’d get drunk quicker so he didn’t really see a downside. “Come on, let’s engage in the relationship bonding experience of underage drinking.”

“Fine.” Karkat knew that bottle had to be important. It was alcohol but it had been his brother’s. Dave had had no interest in keeping it but Davesprite had taken whatever the other Dave hadn’t wanted. He hadn’t fought for anything there, just taken the things Dave would have discarded.

“You’re be-. Wait, what?” Davesprite cocked his head to the side and let out a soft surprised caw. He thought for sure Karkat would put up a fight.

“You heard me, let’s fucking do this.” Karkat retrieved a few glasses from the cabinet and filled them with ice. “Bring it back to the couch.”

Davesprite shrugged and carried the jug back over to the couch, careful not to spill a drop. “Put a movie in while you’re at it. Any movie, I don’t really care which you go with. It’s going to take some time for this shit to kick in, but not so much time that I’m actually going to have to suffer through an entire bad movie with you.”

“You know just the right things to say, don’t you Strider?” Karkat grumbled, bringing the glasses back over to the couch.

“Mm hmm that’s why you love me.” Davesprite smirked. “Now fork over those cups unless you want me pour this into your hands.”

With a nod Karkat held out the two cold cups for Davesprite who quickly filled both glasses.

“Bottoms up, babe.” And with that Davesprite downed his glass quickly. You drink all alcohol fast if you don’t want to be seen as a pansy right? That sounded right, it was good enough seeing as Karkat didn’t know what he was doing either. He was being looked to as the expert here. He coughed a few times as the slight burning sensation mixed with the sour and sweet of the lemonade was almost too much to handle chugging. “Your turn.”

Karkat returned from putting The Notebook in just to spite him and glared at the sprite. He copied the action, not wishing to be outdone, and half choked in the same manner. “Not bad...” The troll refilled his glass and, just to try to get one up on him, went ahead and emptied it. It went down easier and a pleasant warm feeling was growing in his stomach.

Davesprite emptied his second before sitting down and starting the movie. It wasn’t long before they’d finished the pitcher and the movie became background noise to their drunken haze. Karkat had snuggled into him and Davesprite had once again coiled around him. “Having fun?” He snickered when he saw Karkat grin up at him. He liked that and it also seemed really funny to him. Everything was and their words were slurring only making it funnier.

“I don’t know. I feel pretty good. Is feeling good having fun?” The troll began to let out a squeaky giggle when he heard Davesprite snicker more and peep a few times.

“Not all the time dude. Man your face is so red right now.” He squished the troll’s cheeks some and laughed at the expressions it caused. “Cute as a fucking mutton, no button. You’re no lamb.”

Karkat butted him gently with his horns sending them both into another fit of laughter. The alcohol had them both feeling giddy and a lot friendlier than before. “You know... you know I pity you a lot.”

“Yeah? Got your flush feels for me?” Davesprite nuzzled his hair and kissed him sloppily between the horns.

“Mhmm I just feel for you. A lot. Good things. Lots.” Karkat kissed on his chin and grinned up at him the pleasant euphoria of the warmth was relaxing and his head was numbed to the usual train of thoughts he’d jump from as he analyzed every action for mistakes.

“Like what?” He started petting the troll and snickered when he started letting out a click filled purr. “Whacha like about me Karkat?”

“Soft.” He nuzzled into the feathers around the sprite’s neck and Davesprite cawed quietly.

“Is that all I’m good for? Your snuggle pillow?” He ran a hand down Karkat’s back but instead of going straight down his spine it ended up trailing down at an angle. He did take advantage of his stopping place on the troll’s hip to give it a teasing squeeze.

“Nooo silly bird.” Karkat papped at his face sometime touch his nose or mouth instead of his cheeks. “You’re good for more than cuddling birdy boy. You are a good singer too.” The troll started laughing again and Davesprite pinned him gently to the couch for a sloppy kiss.

“Serious dude, what makes you want me?” He nuzzled the troll’s neck and planted a few kisses that were a little wetter than he meant them to be.

“You want me.” Karkat kissed his hair.

“No we better not do that I wasn’t kissing for that man just being affectionate.”

“No, you want me.” Karkat poked his nose. “I want you because you want me. There’s other bullshit but I’m not used to people wanting me. Even if you tease the everloving fuck out of me.” The troll pressed a kiss half on his mouth and half on the other male’s upper lip. “Why do you want me?”

“You don’t... I’m not other Dave to you. You call me what I ask to be called and whatever shitty fire you wanna throw at me. You don’t care I’m like this. You like me and stick around. You know I’m not him.” Davesprite leaned down to kiss him again and got a hand to his face for his trouble.

“Course you’re not him. You two split off stupid bird. I’m not an idiot. I know what I want.” He pulled the sprite in for a proper kiss and both of them hummed softly as they tasted the remnants of lemonade and rum.

Their hands passed over each other’s bodies and slipped under clothes as the pressed close and Davesprite coiled around him. He wrapped his wings around them and they ignored when they missed or knocked teeth at least until Karkat cut the sprite’s lip. He had to try three times to kiss it better before they both pressed close again, the alcohol and emotional exertion as well as the attempted sloppy makeouts with mixed results began to make the pair feel sleepy. They continued to kiss and miss kissing until Karkat ended up flopping on top of him and snuggling under Davesprite’s wings. The pair slept contentedly until morning when sunlight filled the room.

“Ugh that was the stupidest idea you’ve ever had. My head feels like hoofbeats are just lining up from miles away to come kick me in the head. Line starts on the left, let’s start bashing this nooksniffer’s face in.” Karkat grunted softly and got up, blinking as the morning light only made his head pound worse. He walked over and began yanking all the blinds and curtains shut, swearing softly when the blinds messed up repeatedly.

Davesprite let out a miserable caw and shielded himself with his wings until the troll had managed to get the room dimmer though not as dark as he wanted it. He retrieved the shades that had fallen off his face in the night. “Dude not so loud. There’s a baseline in my head that that just parties harder whenever you say shit.” He squawked and hid his head deeper in his feathers.

“I’ll shut up when you tell me how to make my head stop pounding.” He stopped speaking after that all the same and came over to burying himself underneath Davesprite’s wings.

“Coffee and I think we’re supposed to eat something or should have ate something last night.” He floated into the kitchen and started some water. “I think we better choke down the instant crap before this gets any worse.”

Karkat didn’t reply and simply began to make the only thing he trusted while squinting hard, toast. He bite back a swear when the first pieces popped up and simply came over to bury himself against the sprite between each set until they each had four pieces. That had to be enough.

Davesprite held the troll close and rubbed between his horns gently. “Sorry babe that was stupid. I’m never drinking again. I didn’t think it would be this bad.”

Karkat stopped him from saying more by placing his hand over the other’s mouth. They sat with coffee, toast, and even some water in silence as they ate and drank hoping this would help with the pain. The troll had pressed a pair of painkillers into the sprite’s hand before taking some himself.

Davesprite kept his wings spread over them in an attempt to shield them from any light bleeding in through the curtains. They had left the kitchen lights off but everything still seemed really bright. The two of them shared off a single plate, their hands touching now and then as they tried to keep their eyes shut as much as possible.

After the coffee was finished and they’d had their fill of the toast the pair returned to the couch and stayed close under Davesprite’s wings. Karkat let his head rest on the other’s shoulder and didn’t complain when he began rubbing between his horns again. As far as he was concerned they’d both been stupid and maybe had learned something from it.


HSO 2012 Collab Round Sector 2

August 2012

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